The Archives – The Lyric Book “A Prettier Dress”

 

Plastic surgeons can snip and tuck and reconfigure someone’s body just as quickly as the seamstresses of centuries past. This song is about the way the beauty industry has absolutely wreaked havoc on the body image and self perception of females, in a supposed effort to help this very thing. Between the magazines, the surgeons, the make-up gurus, the models….it makes some women feel like they are not adequate as they are. Well this is a song that sheds light on this unfortunate phenomenon.

 

A Prettier Dress – Version 1

Please undress
I need to take your measurements
Here’s a reference chart to see an ideal frame
I know every kind of stitch
So tell me what you want to fix
I’d suggest starting with your waist

Forget about the old one, it’s time to impress
Slip inside of a prettier dress

I’m gonna draw a dotted line
From your shoulder to your spine
To help me know what needs to be corrected
I’ve done this 50,000 times
Even fixed some things for my wife
So don’t worry at all I’ve got this perfected

Forget about the old one, it’s time to impress
Slip inside of a prettier dress

Lift and tuck, snip and cut
Tug and pull and sew it shut
Each incision a revision; well worth winning competitions
Don’t forget your beauty sleep to help repair the scars
My little work of art

Forget about old one, it’s time to impress
You’re gonna love the alterations once the seams begin to mend
Everyone knows that beauty is the key to success
Slip inside of a prettier dress

 

A Prettier Dress– Final Version

 

He gently told her “please undress”
I need to take your measurements
To help me see what needs to be corrected
We’ll trim a bit from off of the waist
Fix the problems with the face
She couldn’t wait until it was perfected

Forget about the old one, it’s time to impress
Slip inside of a prettier dress

She learned it in the magazines
Glamour, Vogue and Seventeen
Every day is like a new audition
20 ways to look the part
50 ways to steal his heart
Ditch the dolls and start the competition

Forget about the old one, it’s time to impress
Slip inside of a prettier dress

Lift and tuck, snip and cut
Tug and pull and readjust
Squeeze the sponge
And wipe the blood
Sew it closed and hurry up
Thousand more await their dream
Of perfect femininity
Count back from 10
Take a breath
And go to sleep

Forget about the old one, it’s time to impress
They always love the alterations when the seams begin to mend
The envy of the party, the talk of your friends
Slip inside of a prettier dress