We are in the thick of things now, three days together! I really appreciate having you here for this story! Having you listening, reading and inspecting this aspect of my art is an honor and this isn't something I don't get to share and do normally, so thank you for continuing on with me.
This next song was one that came out of a spell of pure emotion and although that usually doesn't result in a good finished product, this one came out exactly like I wanted. There's alot of really interesting stories surrounding this song, I'll tell you more in the VLOG. Off we go, friend!
Live Acoustic Performance of "Will of a fisherman"
Words crash like waves on the shore
I should have said so much more
The sea can add years to a night
When youre miles away from the light
I will try
To make things right
but this hole in the side of the boat that I ride
Seems to be telling me this
That I wont make it home and Ill die here alone
Mourning the corpse of a wish
And counting the things that I miss
I tried to give all that Ive got
But I couldnt be something Im not
The world below silently stirs
The wind above carries the birds
I will try
To make things right
All that we made and all that you gave
Ill never ever forget
And this hole in my heart is my own work of art
My self inflicted regret
Some would say thats what I get
But then I see daybreak
Sun, bring me light, bring me warmth
I know its not too late
Sun bring me home, to the shore
and I will try
to make things right
when I get home I swear you'll never feel alone
When I first started playing music, it wasn’t really singer-songwriter type stuff. If was mostly classic rock and punk music. Led Zeppelin, Johnny Cash, Jimmy Hendrix, Green Day, Blink 182, Less Than Jake…I was all over the map. It wasn’t until a few years into playing guitar that I first heard John Mayer, whom initially I wrote off until I really listened to his guitar work on “No Such Thing”.
I learned his whole album “Room for Squares” on guitar and it changed the way I played forever. Today’s song you will be able to hear alot of his influence in "Will of a Fisherman". Particularly his song "Quiet" off of "Inside Wants Out". You might not know that one, it was never a radio hit, but it was a fantastic one. Now onto the song itself...
I know that there are so many movies that paint romance and love as something that happens instantly, comes easy and requires no more effort than simply thinking someone is really hot. There is a part of love that is like that, but love itself is a far cry from saying “baby you soooo fine”. Love doesn’t falter when things go badly. It doesn’t abandon ship when the waters get rough. It sticks through pain and sickness and trials of any kinds. Love is there when lust and flattery and being enamored have all packed up and left. Love is unchangeable and one of it’s most important lessons is acknowledging to a person you love that you were wrong about something.
That’s what “Will of a Fisherman” is about. This song is about having tested someones heart to the point of breaking and knowing that you were so wrong to do that. You’ve had 9th and 10th chances and you can’t just keep doing this to them. You can’t sleep and all night you make a resolve in your heart not to harm theirs anymore. You are repentant about what you’ve done and if they are willing to give you just one more chance, you will absolutely be that person you should have been 30 chances ago. (ARTIST SECRET) - If you listen closely in the bridge you can hear a “borrowed” piano theme from the song “You Are My Everything” by Matthew West. My friend Andy Harris, arranged the piano and strings on this song and did a beautiful job.
You may have noticed that the video today is a lot different. It's significantly older, and it was filmed immediately after I had written the song. I wanted to take you back in a little time machine to me and Andy playing the song together. Also, I'm a little stuffed up in this video; I was sick when we recorded this one but sometimes the show must go on! So we are crammed into Andy's apartment in downtown Boston circa 2009. Sometimes we'd pull out the game "Rockband" for XBOX when we were supposed to be doing ACTUAL music homework and the downstairs neighbor would pound on the ceiling. Whoopsies. This was one of the times when we played nice and soft so there were no problems.
My favorite line in this song is “mourning the corpse of a wish and counting the things that I miss” which is exactly what you feel when you exhaust that last chance. The wish for things to get better will be lost forever and that person will just be someone you miss when you just keep trampling on a heart that loves you. So don’t let it be so. This song is centered around the idea of: If you love them, stop playing games, stop giving in to whatever temptation is taking your heart. Stamp it out and march back to them say once and for all “I’m done hurting you. I am yours”. Repenting is a turning from something and going after something else. Saying sorry by itself doesn’t really cut it, it has to be paired with a heart that truly wants to part with the thing that’s leading it astray. So the main character in this song, the "ol’ fisherman", takes his boat out on the water one night and reflects on the way he’s been treating his wife. He’s been distant. Cold. Occupied. Nothing like a husband should be. So after the longest night of his life, he rows his boat back to shore right as the suns coming back up, swearing til death does he part, that he will be the man that she remembers at the altar.
1 Cor 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.